Violence begets violence

But apparently my opinion doesn’t count.

Random internet cartoon

The Texas Tribute reports on spanking in the schools. According to the report:

Texas lawmakers voted against parental approval for corporal punishment Wednesday, allowing schools to spank students with or without parents’ say.

I know many out there ascribe to the “spare the chancla, malcreado the child” but I just don’t agree. I don’t understand why the state of Texas would remove the right for a parent to say, I do not want my child to be corporally punished.

Personally, I think it is the easy way out of disciplining that is more about your own anger than the child’s problem – please don’t start to throw things at me, it shows your violent upbringing.

I don’t know, I guess because I came from a household that actually THOUGHT about discipline and chose to never hit their children, I refuse to accept that to hit a child is ok.

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About Que Fregados

Que Fregados is a quirky look at little things that strike us funny in Laredo and the unique Latino culture. Suggestions and comments are welcome. You can also email to quefregados@gmail.com.
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8 Responses to Violence begets violence

  1. Lisa says:

    Thank you for sharing. I’m with you. I do spank on rare occasions (dangerous things like running out into the street, finger in the light socket, etc), however not on a regular basis. I do NOT like the idea of someone else spanking my child at all!

  2. Ed says:

    (my name deleted) & Lisa, you guys must admit that MANY, MANY MORE children were better behaved years ago when “paddling” was permitted in school. I myself was never in trouble with my teachers or principals but a few of my classmates were. I recall occasions where a couple of problem kids would cause trouble for the rest of us and the principal was called to solve the issue. He would take one of the troublemakers out to the hall and one could see the fear in the other rabble-rousers faces when we could hear the wood paddle meeting gluteus maximus. It was MOST DEFINITELY a deterrent and a great method of getting these future criminals to behave. The problem with asking parental consent is that the parents of children who most need this form of discipline are the MOST elusive to the fact that THEIR BABIES are trouble, hence the problem child. Teachers and other school staff are there to educate. We as parents are the ones responsible for teaching our children the difference between right and wrong, ethical and unethical and to all that is socially accepted.

    I’ve attended many parents’ meeting at my children’s schools that wanted to address issues such as drugs, gangs, bullying, etc. and what I found ABSOLUTELY ridiculous was that the parents that cared enough about their children to prioritize them were ALWAYS the same people. The parents that actually needed to attend these gatherings because of their problem child either kept their head buried in the sands of oblivion, had “better” things to do such as a novella on TV, entertainment or work. Mind you, this was in spite of the fact that door prizes were raffled amongst those that attended. Give me a break!!! There are many of us who have sired or had a child but are not willing to make the time to assure that OUR children are contributing members of society. There are NO BAD SEEDS only BAD FARMERS. What should we do with these burdens??? Should we permit these few to ruin the school experience for the good students. and even the schools’ faculty??? I say NAY and would bet that if those parents that deny society the opportunity to aid them in making their children’s behavior acceptable to social standards were FORCED to home school their little menaces, they would finally be FORCED to parent or suffer the deplorable behavior of their creation and probably would prefer that the school system discipline their children as deemed fit.

    • Que Fregados says:

      I admit that there were less disciplinary problems “way back when” but I don’t think corporal punishment was what suppressed bad behavior. Our society was different and our responsibilities and expectations were greater of children. I think the correlation is off – physically hitting a child does not curb behavior, in my humble opinion.

      Have you ever read Freakanomics? Fascinating read. There is a chapter called “Where have all the criminals gone?” I actually went to go look it up while it rained :). “When the crime rate began falling in the early 1990’s, it did so with such speed and suddenness that it surprised everyone. It took some experts many years to even recognize that crime was falling, so confident had they been of its continuing rise.” It goes on to describe the massive rise in crime in the last 40 years and how it had gone down to the same level as 40 years ago – one big wave and back down.

      The top 8 explanations as to why it went down when all experts predicted it would rise were just guesses and the book goes one by one describing the impact they might have had from a strong economy to increased reliance on prisons to increased number of police, etc, etc. But the one thing that is often overlooked is the history of abortion in the US. After the authors provide history and the figures of the number of abortions, they go on to state:

      “What sort of woman was most likely to take advantage of Roe vs Wade? Very often she was unmarried or in her teens or poor, sometimes all three. What sort of future might her child have had? One study has shown that the typical child who went unborn in the earliest years of legalized abortion would have been 50 percent more likely than average to live in poverty; he would have also been 60 percent more likely to grow up with just one parent. These two factors – childhood poverty and a single-parent household – are among the strongest predictors that a child will have a criminal future. Growing up in a single-parent home roughly doubles a child’s propensity to commit crime. So does having a teenage mother. … In other words, the very factors that drove millions of American women to have an abortion also seemed to predict that their children, had they been born, would have led unhappy and possibly criminal lives.

      Perhaps the most dramatic effect of legalized abortion, however, and one that would take years to reveal itself, was its impact on crime. In the early 1990s, just as the first cohort of children born after Roe v. Wade was hitting its late teen years – the years during which young men enter their criminal prime – the rate of crime began to fall. What this cohort was missing, of course, were the children who stood the greatest chance of becoming criminals.”

      This response was not meant as a pro-abortion or anti-abortion argument & that is only one chapter in many that only goes to state that some things are not as they appear to be. When violence is used to control violence or anger, it just suppresses it even more and all it does is instill anger and frustration. It is bully behavior in a society that already has a a bully attitude.

      My most memorable lesson as a teenager was after someone went to tell my mother that I was hanging around with the wrong crowd. My mom told her friend (or so she told me) that she trusted that I would make the right decisions for myself and that I was free to associate with whomever I wanted. She then told me that she knew that if my friends were doing things they shouldn’t, that THEY WERE NOT BEING BAD INFLUENCES ON ME BUT THAT I WAS THERE TO BE A GOOD INFLUENCE FOR THEM.

      Those words have stuck forever and gave me such a sense of responsibility to my community that now you have the personality that you see before you – responsible to the core.

    • Rosario says:

      Ed is right. As a veteran teacher, I can safely say that the students who are not socially prepared to function peacefully and effectively in the schools are the ones who, unfortunately, get the most attention. The good students take a back seat because of the disturbance the troublemaker makes. This is not fair. I fell into that way of thinking for a while…..you know, “poor thing. He is underprivileged and his parents’ ignorance is the cause of his poor behavior.”….so I would try to “save” this child, spending more time and energy on him than on those who were in school for the right reason…..to learn and to better their lives. Not anymore! While I continue to study each case individually rather than clumping the students into groups, I have now become a bit more strict with the unruly ones, trying somewhat but no longer at the expense of the ones who care about school. I will not be a part of those educators who allow losing the spirit of the learner while trying to save the bratty kid. If a paddling will help to discipline the latter than I say we should allow it, under supervision and by the appropriate person at the school, ….usually the Assistant Principal. It is necessary to make some very serious changes especially in the middle schools. In some more than others, the students are running the show.

  3. Andres says:

    I agree with the above comment. When I was in school corporal punishment was the norm. We knew what were the consequences, not the empty promises of “possible” suspension. School officials nowadays are too worried about the parents’ reactions that their judgement can be clouded. I have read stories about teachers getting disciplined because they raised their voice at the student and the parents complained. This I where kids are losing their respect for teachers. A teacher or administrator does something the child doesnt like, and they go crying home to mommy. Then mommy comes with the wratch of hell behind them and only half the information of the situation and the school is made to bend over backwards to appease them. When did parents become the last voice of authority at a school? I think it’s about time we give administrators the power to discipline kids again. If your kids are not troublemakers, then you have nothing to worry about. If they are and you know it, take some responsibility instead of passing it on and enabling your child’s attitude to degrade further.

  4. critters and crayons says:

    My kids won’t attend school that reserves the right to dole out corporal punishment without my consent- They wouldn’t get it if they asked. No one is authorized to hit my kid- under any circumstances. I remember seeing kids at an Austin Elementary School come back to class after getting “swats” with a holey paddle from the Dean with the permission of the parents- At 11, I reasoned that it was pretty ridiculous to let someone else other than a parent administer physical punishment. I cannot believe it’s even legal-

    • critters and crayons says:

      My sister is an educator- and I know that many administrators and teachers feel like their hands are tied when it comes to giving out accurate grades, true progress reports, or dealing with really difficult kids- So, I would agree that an overhaul of the system is probably in order- to make consequences meaningful. In my sister’s case, she’s been advised not to use a red pen because of the stigmatization it can cause and that they don’t issue “zeros” for not doing homework, even if zero homework was turned in. I don’t agree with that approach- I agree an overhaul is in order to re-empower administrators administratively- to make consequences real and meaningful. No homework. Failed tests? Bad attendance? Talking back? Worse? It should all add up to not moving on in the system- not in swats.

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