Pancho Claus

found floating on the internet 🙂

Our friend Rick sent the following tale. I know there are several versions of this one around, if you have another one, please share in the comments. Felices Fiestas!

Pancho Claus

It was the noche before Christmas
Mama making tamales
Papa at the corner cantina
Los niños all tucked in bed
Throughout el barrio all was quiet
Not a perro was stirring
Not even Zetas with their deadly war
When suddenly a loud noise was heard
Pancho Claus coming down la chimenea
Bringing regalos to all
After eating tamales and drinking champurrado
Away he flew into the barrio night
Spreading the barrio Yule Tide
Y to everyone a Buenas noches!

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Que Fregados is a quirky look at little things that strike us funny in Laredo and the unique Latino culture. Suggestions and comments are welcome. You can also email to
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2 Responses to Pancho Claus

  1. rick78 says:

    Thanks for posting 🙂 !

  2. MaryHelen says:

    That’s so accurate!! 😉

    Here’s my husband’s version:

    “Twas la noche before Creesmas,
    And all through the chante,
    Not a creeshure was stirring,
    Nomas un raton gigante.
    The calsetines were hung by the lumber with care,
    In hopes that Santa Clos soon would be there.
    The shildrens were nestled all snug in their camas,
    With sugar plum stains on their payamas.
    Ama in her kerchief and me with cachucha,
    Had just settled down for a little Hoochi-cucha.
    When out in the lawn, se hiso un desmadre,
    Y fui a la window, a ver si no era mi compadre.
    Away to the window me fui como flash,
    Rompi open los chutters, and tire pa arriba el sach.
    I chouted, “Epale, horale, que fregados,
    No dejan dormer, pues que chingados.”
    La luna on the tetas of the new fallen snow,
    Parecia de dia to objects below.
    Cuando what to my wondering ojos should appear,
    But un sleigh chavalito con eight tiny reindeer.
    Con un driver, so lively and quick,
    Yo supe en un ratito, it must be ese vato, St. Nick.
    Mas prisa que aguilas his coursers they came,
    He whistled and chouted y les grito su name.
    “Now Dacher! Now Dandruff, now Prancer and Neexon!
    On Chuy, on Tavo, on Dopey, and Bleetzen!
    Arriba la porch, arriba la wall,
    Now dach away, dach away, dach away all.”
    Arriba la casa el techo they flew,
    Con un sleigh full of toys y Santa Clos, too.
    And then in a twinkling I heard on the techo,
    The prancing and pawing of Rudolph and Lencho.
    As I drew in my cabeza and grabbed my regaso,
    Down the shimney Santa Clos came con un fregaso.
    He was dressed all in fur from his head to his choes,
    He wore red and white – no jellos nor blues.
    Un bulto de toys he flung on his back,
    Parecia cartonero opening his pack.
    His ojos they twinkled, his dimples que cute,
    His cachets were rosy, his nariz like a flute.
    His droll little boca, paresia un bow,
    Y la barba on his chompa was white as the snow.
    The stump of his pipa he held in his teeth,
    The humo it encircled his cabeza like a wreath.
    Era cacheton y tenia un beer belly,
    That chook when he laughed like a tazon de jelly.
    Era pansoncito, a right holly old elf,
    Me rei when I saw him in spite of myself.
    A wink of the ojo, a twist of the head,
    Yo supe que I had nothing to dread.
    No dijo nada, but went to his work,
    Lleno el stocking, then se voltio con un jerk.
    And laying his detho on the side of his nose,
    “Ya stuffas,” he said, and up the shimney he rose.
    Brinco en la sleigh, y dio un whistle,
    Y pa arriba he flew like the plumas of a thistle.
    I heard him exclaim, “Merri Creesmas a todos,
    Give eash other nice gifts, y no sean codos.”
    And I heard him exclaim, as he flew away in his coche,
    “Merri Creesmas to all, y a todos a good noche.”

    Adaptation by Paul David Gallego

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